A Kitchen Prayer

For giving thanks, any time….

God Our Father,

Please join us at the kitchen table, the center of our home where we come hungry every day. We bow our heads to give you honor. You are the Creator of chickens and artichokes and coffee beans.  You give us the joy of flavors and color and variety. You give us daily energy and the satisfaction of enough.

Give us wisdom to value connecting with one another over our daily bread. We are imperfect, and we need the encouragement of each other, of those who know us best. Give us grace to extend to one another. Give us the salt and pepper of laughter and of tears.

May we not be greedy with our fullness. A warm meal and good conversation are simple, valuable gifts that anyone would enjoy, and many people sorely need. So may we gratefully share our table, knowing that guests bring to us the bounty of their life experiences.

Fortify us for life as we leave the table to go our separate ways. May your Holy Spirit protect us, inform us, empower us, be seen in us. Bless us to live fully and to come back again to this table, where we are nourished day by day.

Amen.

The People at the Feast: Preparing for Thanksgiving Part II

Diane makes the place cards

The almost-perfect turkey, the almost-perfect pumpkin pie, and the imperfect people with us – for these we give thanks!

Every Thanksgiving is different. We grow up and grow older; we gain and, unfortunately sometimes lose, family members. Each year we are a little different bunch of people, even if the guest list is the same. In our case, we have Alex’s family living in town, and our sons, and most of our daughter-in-law’s family, so that we are blessed with lots of relatives at our table for Thanksgiving. Some years we travel to Topeka to see my brother and sister-in-law, but usually we’re here. I’ve learned that also inviting a few friends keeps the conversation fresh. Besides, it’s fun to find people who are away from family and would enjoy a place at a Thanksgiving table.

I enjoy setting the table, and try to do it a day or so ahead because inevitably I’m missing something that I need to borrow or buy. If I use fresh flowers in a centerpiece, I choose sunflowers, because they remind me of my growing-up Thanksgivings in Kansas (the Kansas state flower). Many years my niece Diane spends the night on Wednesday night to help me, and it’s great to have a right-hand person like this. I’m hoping she and her boyfriend can come early on Thanksgiving to help me this year.

One thing Diane has helped me with since she’s been old enough to write are place cards. She writes the names and decorates them, and writes a table talk question inside each one. When the conversation lulls (or gets stagnant), we’ll ask people to read their question and then we go around the table and answer them. These are questions for which there is no right or wrong answer, and everyone will have an answer. They help us get to know one another like we wouldn’t otherwise. If someone doesn’t like their question, they can choose to answer someone else’s question that they do like.

Sample Thanksgiving Table Talk Questions:

• What difficulty have you faced in the past year that you are thankful for?
• Where is one place you’ve gone this year that you were thankful to be?
• What is a good memory from this year?
• What is one way you’re thankful for your family?
• Who is a person who has great impact on your life and how?
• What was a book or article you read this year that really made you think?
• What is your favorite food on a Thanksgiving plate? What favorite food are you looking forward to at Christmas?

After Thanksgiving dinner, we like to have options of things to do. One, of course, is to be able to sprawl on a sofa and nap. Others are walking in the neighborhood, playing cards or a board game, and working a jigsaw puzzle. Usually a football game or movie is on the TV, but I like to have more interactive options too.

My favorite close-of-Thanksgiving-dinner activity is to take the tablecloth outside (by myself), give it a shake to release the crumbs, and stare at the stars. Something about a skyfull of stars gives me perspective. I give thanks for the gathering, for this collection of people, and for the many, many blessings that are ours.

More than Turkey: Preparing for Thanksgiving Part I

Could be a challenging year for Alex's BBQed turkey

I gazed in the window of Williams-Sonoma at a picture of a crusty-but-juicy (how do they do that?) golden turkey. The poster read The Perfect Thanksgiving: Brined Roast Turkey. And more. In the other window pastry leaves and acorns were scattered on the unblemished pumpkin pie, and below this a Pecan Pie. And the words: The Perfect Thanksgiving: Pumpkin Pie and Pecan Pie.

Americans love these images of Thanksgiving. Surely if we get the bird and the pie right, it will be the perfect day. But have you ever forgotten to take the gizzardy things out of the cavities of the turkey? Or didn’t get the gobbler to thaw until your guests had to leave? Or has your disposal backed up from being unaccustomed to real potato peelings? Or has a hum-dinger of a family dispute flared at the table? (The people-part of Thanksgiving in the next blog.)

As I sit down on a snowy day to put some planning to the Thanksgiving feast, I’m thinking perhaps the best thing I can do is to let myself let go of perfect. To start by being thankful that we have a designated day in America to gather with family and friends and to give thanks. I am very, very thankful that we can do this.

Here’s what I’ve learned over many Thanksgivings:

• Plan the menu ahead, as far ahead as possible.
• Ask people to bring dishes that fit with your menu, but also let them suggest a favorite dish of theirs. Our family won’t let me consider omitting mashed potatoes with lots of gravy, but I am not about to tell Ryan he can’t also bring his mom’s Bourbon Sweet Potatoes.
• Give special attention to buying the turkey with time for it to thaw in the frig. Finish it off in cold water in the sink Thanksgiving morning if necessary.
• Don’t plan to serve the meal until late afternoon, allowing time to enjoy the preparations, which are much of the fun, and for the bird to thaw and cook. And time to get past a football game.
• Plan for more food than you think you’ll need because it’s disappointing not to have leftovers, and some people will want to take some home.
• Set the table(s) ahead, so you know if you need someone to bring plates or flatware or folding chairs.
• People are glad to help if you just let them know what you need. You can ask someone to take the dirty dishes to the kitchen, and someone to load the dishwasher, and someone to put away left-overs.

I’ll pull out the old favorite recipes and look through magazines for some dish I may have to try. But perfect is pretty boring. I’m thankful for the food we’re able to purchase this Thanksgiving, for the relatives and friends who will join us, and for our many, many blessings.

 

 

Making the Holidays Wondrous

Although the holidays are coming, at this point they’re still on tiptoe. There’s time to consider what is important about our celebrations this year – and what we can leave behind.

Home is the base for those celebrations that build our family identity and our traditions and values. We want them to be the best. We want the turkey succulent, hearts thankful, and the talking so good we nearly forget there’s football on TV.

For Christmas, even more than Santa’s making good guesses, we want to be generous with one another – on many levels – and to capture the wonder of the Christmas story: A virgin gives birth. Three wise men follow a star to a manger. How can we allow the majesty of this to share billing with Frosty the Snowman? Where is the wonder? Can we see it, and find ways to bring it home?

Here is my best pass at that quest, as I shared with women at First Baptist Church of McKinney (TX) Sunday night:

• Talk with your family about their hopes and expectation for the holidays this year. What was the best and worst last year?
• Review your holiday traditions: Have you outgrown some? Are others so bright they warrant some polish?
• Prepare spiritually for Christmas by observing Advent as a sacred season of preparation – individually, and as a family with children at home.
• Consider how to creatively communicate the Christmas story to children, uncovering it from our culture’s hollow seasonal trappings.
• Plan, dream, pray about the holiday celebrations, then go over your plans with an eraser to create breathing room around the best things.

May our homes be filled with warmth and love and wonder in the weeks ahead.

With Lynn Quernemoen at First Baptist of McKinney

Experimenting with Seasonal Vegetables

Balsamic Roasted Parsnips and Sweet Potatoes

I am determined to like vegetables. It hasn’t come naturally. And I’ve decided that I’ve handicapped myself by years of nightly rotations of corn, peas, and green beans. So I’m scouting out seasonal fresh vegetables, then discovering delicious, simple ways to prepare them.

This recipe, which I found in a rack of recipes in the produce section of Safeway, was the biggest hit at our table so far. My delight began with the aroma as I peeled the parsnips. Distinctive and fresh, it piqued my curiosity for the taste experience. If you aren’t familiar with parsnips, they look like large cream-colored carrots. And don’t worry: the checker at Safeway didn’t know what they were either.

Try this as a richly colored, nutritious accompaniment to a OAMC entree:

Balsamic Roasted Parsnips and Sweet Potatoes

3 parsnips, peeled and coarsely chopped

2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and coarsely chopped

1 large onion, quartered, then quartered again

¼ cup olive oil

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

2 teaspoons chopped fresh rosemary

½ teaspoon kosher salt

Preheat oven to 450°F. Coat a large baking sheet with nonstick spray. Scatter parsnips, sweet potatoes and onion on baking sheet. Whisk together the olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and drizzle over the vegetables. Sprinkle with rosemary and salt. Bake 30 minutes or until vegetables are tender, stirring midway through.

Serves 6.

 

Beauty in Midland, Texas

Having grown up in Kansas, I try to be careful in describing Midland, Texas, where I visited this week to speak at a women’s event. I bristle when people describe Kansas as flat and dull. Places that are “home” always have their own beauty in the eyes of the people who live there.

But Midland is so flat that at first it disturbed my equilibrium. How do you get your bearings without some up and down? It’s dry, with scrubby bushes and oil wells.

However, the women I met in Midland know how to create beauty in their homes and in their relationships. Maybe the contrast sparks creative energy. But beauty in Midland is alive and well.

In the home of my hostess, Beverly, I pulled off my boots, carried the ice tea she gave me, and padded along on the dark wood floors from room to room, entranced. None of the rooms was unusually large, but the 12-foot ceilings with crown molding gave stateliness.

The furniture was massive, comfortable, and – the main thing – careful thought had been given to the décor items. Accent lamps were turned on to warm just the right places. Autumn leaves and pumpkins placed me contentedly in the season. A plaque on the inside of the back door – the last thing you’d read as you left for the day – read “P.S. I love you.” I felt like a welcomed participant in a beautiful, well-lived home.

Beverly and I arrived at the church for the event in our “10-minute heels,” as she called them, because they hurt after 10 minutes. My presentation was called “Bring Home the Wonder of Christmas,” and my hope was to wrap the women in the wonder of the Christmas story, and give them practical ideas to center their family traditions and celebrations on the Christ Child.

The church gym had been transformed with a collage of round tables, each decorated by a woman or two by whatever Christmas theme struck their fancy. I sat at Cindy and Jezel’s table, where we had snowflake placemats, elegant silver-rimmed white china, with a Christmas tree and paper Maché snowmen in the center. Blue linen napkins were tied with big silver bows.

Here’s another beauty, that of relationship. Our table hostess Cindy had come with her mother, and her daughter-in-law. Table groups included mothers and daughters, women and friends.  When I gave time during the presentation for table discussion, the women chattering easily with each other about Christmas traditions and expectations.

Based upon my experience, there is much beauty in the heart of Midland, TX.

Testing a Holiday Once-A-Month Cooking Cycle

Ready for a cooking day

Mimi and I are testing a new downloadable two-week Once-A-Month Cooking sampler for our website that is geared to helping people cope with the nightly needs for dinner that don’t go away when the holiday baking and extra cooking start. Our goal was entrees that are lean and inexpensive, plus one good breakfast open for a weekend, and a company dinner entrée.

First time through testing a new cycle involves lots of stop and start (wash hands, dry hand well so I don’t get the paper wet while writing, take notes, start again — where was I?…) to refine the recipes and get a logical Assembly Order.

I started cooking late afternoon on Thursday, but had to leave for an evening commitment. I cleaned up the kitchen as much as possible before I left, putting the chopped veggies in the frig, then came back to finish assembling the last two entrees: Cumin-Crusted Pork Soft Tacos and Beef Flank Steak with Mushroom Stuffing. The latter is the company dish, but having tasted the former, I can say they would work too!

I drug up to bed that night, glad to have finished. And now we’re enjoying the bounty. It was so nice when Tim called after a bike ride with his girlfriend Beckie on Sunday afternoon to say come on over, we have plenty of Sweet Potato Casserole for dinner (with sausage and pasta – yummy).

Mimi has prepared the new cycle too, and today we’ll meet to compare notes. See if any recipes don’t make the cut, and what needs to be tweaked. I’ll stop on the way at Starbucks drive-up for lattes and pumpkin bread. Brain food for us!

A Day in Small and Large Circles

Recently something my friend Mimi told me has revolutionized how I greet each day. “Imagine that you’re drawing a circle around yourself,” said Mimi. “Who will be within your circle today?” Those are the people who deserve your best.

How does this help? Somehow zooming in on those people I will interact with today, bringing them sharply into focus, helps me appreciate each one and any influence I might have on them for good or for bad.

Today’s small circle is potentially minute because I’m keeping 5-month-old Adeline. But for sure in my small circle I will see the guy shutting down the sprinkler system, my family home for dinner, and whomever Adeline and I meet on a stroller walk. Each person important.

Ah, but each day also has a large circle, people whom I will influence perhaps without even knowing it. People who are influenced by my work, or messages I send through cyber-space, or telephone calls.

This small concept has made me think more keenly, and approach more prayerfully, the interactions in the small circles and the rippled-out large circles of my days. Each of us is important, each day is significant; it helps me to be intentional by beginning my day zooming in and zooming out.

House at Rest

Now that it’s fall at the cabin, steam rises from the lake in the mornings because the water is, finally, warmer than the air. New snow graces the peaks like a sifting of powdered sugar.

It’s time to close the Inverness, which has pipes above ground that freeze, and summer-only insulation. Closing the cabin involves a cluster of routines, which I’ve finally committed to a computerized list, including changing all the sheets and leaving a dust-sheet on top, cleaning out the frig and pantry, and lowering the rattan blinds. The guys tinker with the more fun chores of storing the grill, the swing, and the boats. When the car has been loaded and we’re ready to head “down the mountain” for the final time this season, we go to the dock to lower the flags.

As I’ve written in a previous blog post (see Flags as Social Media), people here fly their flags when they’re in residence. So lowering the flags is the final period on the long, full season that has been Summer.

Our routine is to fold the flags military-tight, then talk about the highlights of the summer, and pray a prayer of gratitude. Gus the standard poodle loves the place as much as we do, and lays his head on one lap or another as we sit on the dock for this ritual.

So now the cabin, which in my last blog post was at play, is for a long season at rest. A caretaker will shutter the windows. Soon snows will enfold it in slumber. Inverness will do what homes do when we leave them for an extended vacation. It will hold its confidences and sit at peace, condensing the essences of home in preparation for its people’s return. We, in turn, will shift our living to active weekend commitments at home, and dream about next summer at the cabin.

House at Play

Rest and play are like the inhale and exhale of home, keeping the atmosphere from growing stagnant, keeping it a place we want to come to.

Sometimes you have to “set up” play – plan it, provide the time set apart and the equipment. Sometimes it just happens, and that’s the very best.

One of our summer at-the-cabin friends, whom our son Tim has grown up with, is Jeff Eldridge, owner of Liberty Puzzles, wooden puzzles renowned for their whimsy pieces that are shaped like birds or bonnets or wagons or such.

Jeff graciously gave us a puzzle recently, and the addiction struck. Jigsaw puzzles are as bad as knitting that way. You can’t quit until you find one more piece, then one more, one more….

The moment in the picture just happened. But I also like to set up a card table with a jigsaw puzzle in the winter, sometimes over the holidays. Working puzzles provides great talking time, because it’s relaxed and you’re not looking one another in the eye. Like when Mom is stirring or chopping in the kitchen and a kid opens up and talks.

Find ways that your home environment is conducive to play. Set it up. And let it happen.